You Might be Country If #2

In response to the overwhelming (that's a joke, though many people did tell me they really enjoyed it) response to my post in September called "Just for Fun . . ." my family and I have gathered a few more "You might be country if . . ." thoughts. Of course, just like the first one, I'm not saying that I know anyone these have applied to in real life (smile). Of course not.

You might be "country" if . . .

. . . you put up the 16' Christmas tree at your church building that someone cut in the hills around you and brought to the building in a beat up pickup truck and find you need to cut two feet off the trunk. So, someone whips out a chain saw and cuts it off . . . while you are still in the building.

. . . the "tooth fairy" brings fly fishing lures and puts them under the pillow.

. . . you vote absentee ballot . . . because they make you because you don't have a polling place.

. . . when you go on a call on the volunteer fire department there is probably a 50% chance or better you'll know the person you are responding to.

. . . one of your youth groupers stores a pig on your property . . . and its alive, not in your freezer.

. . . one of the highlights of your family's year is the day it is green enough out and you have your burn permit and can burn brush piles and downed wood in the field, and sit around and have coffee, cocoa, roasted hot dogs, and smores as it burns down.

. . . when someone asks your kids if they have any pets and they reply, "five chickens, three cats, two cows, and a lost sheep that jumped into our field and whose owner we can't find."

. . . you hop the fence by your house and have to be really careful . . . because it is barbed wire.

. . . you don't use a cell phone . . . because your house doesn't have cell coverage.

. . . you are helping someone move and you are thrilled when they give you a bag of horse poop for your garden.

. . . you pick plums from the top of your plum tree . . . by being lifted up in a tractor bucket.

. . . getting ice cream from the store to your house before it melts is a big challenge.

. . . the bathroom at your local community center is "flushed" by scooping a cup of ash out of the can in the bathroom and pouring it down the hole when you are done.

. . . the "basic necessities" include baling wire and duct tape.

. . . one of the best Christmas gifts you've ever received is someone bringing you a load of firewood.

. . . more of the people you know barbeque with wood than with charcoal or gas.

. . . you could put on a live nativity . . . using only animals owned by people in your fellowship.

Enjoy. Remember, A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

Just for Fun . . .

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

You might be "country" if . . .

. . . driving into town for your once a week town day you realize that the envelopes you used to mail your bills in aren’t sealing so you use the roll of gray duct tape you happen to have rolling around on the mini van floor to seal them with before you drop them in the mailbox.

. . . your wife drops you off in front of WalMart so you can quickly run in and when you come out you immediately spot your van in the full parking lot because it is the only one you can’t see through the back window of because of all the dirt road dust on it.

. . . someone in a car knocks over a tree in front of the church you pastor and one of the parties involved says, “I’ve got a loader, I’ll just pick it up and haul it off.”

. . . you get your soundboard working again with tin foil after a fuse blows.

. . . a mouse joins you on the floor for youth group.

. . . you go to repair your church’s septic tank and find out it is a buried 55 gallon drum.

. . . you walk across 40 acres of grass and mud in your funeral clothes because the road is too slick to get home on.

. . . one of the fundraisers for your youth group has been a cow drop contest in which people buy tickets to get a square in a field and you then let a cow loose in the field and see which square it poops first in to see who wins the prize.

. . . the guys on the volunteer fire department with you are better armed than the police.

. . . you have a bumper sticker that says, “Fairy tales say a frog became a prince. Scientist call it evolution.” . . . on your tractor.

. . . you preach on the heavens declaring the glory of God and every person you are preaching to knows what you are talking about because they see a beautiful display of stars at their homes every night.

. . . you take your youth group to a winter camp and as counselors you are taking the pastor and his wife, an elder and his wife, the worship leader and his wife, the church secretary and her husband, the Children’s Church director and her husband, the youth pastor and his wife, the treasurer, and the missions head . . . and you’ve only taken five counselors.

Not that I know anyone these might describe, of course.

Laugh a Little More 1

I love to laugh. I don't do it enough. I get so serious and caught up in stuff, and yet . . . aren't we a faith of joy? Aren't we a faith of coming like children? Aren't we a faith that, while we deal with serious stuff, we have a great big Father in Heaven who loves us and calls us His own? Some time back I started collecting Christian jokes—clean, God-centered things that made me laugh and smile. I don't think we need to divide our life into compartments where we have the work stuff, the God stuff, the fun stuff, the (you fill in the blank) stuff, etc. I believe that our faith can cross all the lines, and I have found that there really are out there a lot of fun, God-centered, clean jokes. So, now and then, I'll share my favorites with you. I've said from the start that this blog is simply a place for me to share reflections, thoughts, things God is showing me, slices of my life, etc. So, I hope no one is bothered by this or wishes everything was theology. We need to laugh! The world needs to see that side of us too, not just a serious message. I'd love to have you send me your favorite Christian joke(s).

So, here's the first. I have no idea how often I'll throw these in among my other sharings and thoughts. Let me know if they make you smile, too.

Locked Car Door
    A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.
    She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that her the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
    The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."
    So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.
    The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
    He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man."
    The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."
    The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a professional!"
(author unknown)

Just to Make You Smile . . .

We all need to smile more, at least I know I do. So, here are a few things that might help you do that today. No, they aren’t “theological”—but, then again, this is just my personal blog to share and have fun and reflect with you, whatever the day or season calls for. Enjoy, and may God bless you with a deep awareness of His love and nearness to you . . .

The other day I got one of those SPAM emails from someone trying to get me to click on their link. It is below. Hmmmm, does anyone else find this ironic or humorous in any way (getting past the sadness of the industry it represents). I’ve pasted it just as I got it . . .

“Im a charming blue-eyed blonde, brunette with brown eyes, and I'm looking for an intelligent man to communicate by e-mail, Skype, or on real dates!”

(I can only imagine, if I had tons of readers, the comments that one would generate!)

And, now, some pictures I stumbled on going through some our family has taken over the years . . .

Hamming it up in Carrizo Plains a few years ago. Not sure why I can’t get a wireless network!

A friend’s power steering fluid cap went missing. No problem. We are resourceful (or redneck?) out here! Anyone want to set up an appointment to have their car worked on next?

We take guarding our girls seriously out here!

Just too cute. From some years back.

That’s my girl! NOBODY touches that coffee cup!