Snakes and Awe . . .

I hope that this finds all of you having a wonderful start to the new year. May God pour out His favor over you during it and help you to be more aware than ever of how much He loves you.

I have been reading through Exodus lately and I keep coming back, in my still time, to when Moses and Aaron confronted Pharaoh and his magicians and their rods, turned into snakes, were swallowed by the snake which Moses and Aaron's rod turned in to. I have found that with that story . . . and with most in the Bible . . . it has become far to easy for me to simply read it, be familiar with it, and move past it. But . . .

. . . stop and think about it for a minute. A stick. A piece of wood. A part of a tree. It turns in to a snake! A living, twisting, life-filled snake. And then, tapping into Satan's power, Pharaoh's magicians do the same, but God shows that His power is always superior to the enemy's when their snakes are eaten! Sometimes I really struggle in my walk when I realize how far my anxieties, fears, priorities, expectations, etc., fall short of the incredible things I claim I believe. Then Satan comes along whispering, "Do you even really believe them? Are you even truly saved?"

I do believe the Bible. I do believe it is true, cover to cover, word for word. And that is why I can be so bothered by how easily I can read it and about the events it records and . . . be unmoved, be blase. I have had to force myself to slow down and process. To actually stop and think about what it must have been like to be a spectator in that room and literally, before my eyes, watch those rods turn in to living snakes and enter into mortal combat on the ground. Or later to watch the Red Sea literally part into two walls of water. Or to watch leprosy disappear . . . or a white and blind eye slowly turn clear and a person see for the first time . . . or to see the dead come to life. Yet, I believe these have happened, and I have met people who have, in our lifetime, seen the dead come back to life and seen a formless eye transition before their eyes into a seeing eye.

I believe these things, but unless I force myself to stop, project myself into the scenes, and be still and meditate on it until if affects my heart I find I too often breeze past them in to my next "crisis" or negative expectation or fear or grumbling or gloomy state. Yet, when I can slow myself down and take my feelings captive to the reality of the basic foundations of my faith I claim I believe, I find that awe starts to follow that exercise, and the things in my life that have gotten disproportionately big start to shrink down to their proper size and perspective in relationship to my God, His love for me, and His power.

One of my biggest hopes for myself this year as I read through the Bible is that the things it records will rock my world and my expectations and my faith and my attitudes, and not just be more theological knowledge that puffs up or makes me religious in form, but not different than a non-Christian in my true and deepest attitudes and fears and outlooks.

God bless you all. Thank you for reading and sharing in my life. As always, I treasure your comments, thoughts, feedback, things God has shown you, etc. I look forward to traveling through 2012 with you and seeing what our mighty God has in store!   — Erick

A Birthday Hike, and Reminder . . .

My Day: I was blessed on Thursday to be able to take my traditional birthday hike with Mary Ann and my girls at the Pinnacles National Monument. We left the parking lot about 1 pm and got back to the van about dark. I was so proud of our girls. In the first two miles we climbed 1,500 feet of switchbacks (to the top of the peaks in the background of the pictures), and then we wound our way across the east side of the Pinnacles and back to the van through some caves for the next 6.5 miles. It was 8.5 miles in all, and the girls did it all without complaints. It was a really special time and a beautiful day. I was able to end the evening at my parents house and celebrate my birthday with our three generations all present together, by a crackling fire, eating pizza. It was a very special day!

Bethany and Daddy, nose to nose.

For those of you who have followed this blog, you may remember my posting last year at my birthday that year's traditional "nose to nose" pictures, as well as the previous years. You can see last year's in the "Esther 3" post of Nov. 5, 2009, and the year before's in the "Esther 2" post of Nov. 4, 2009. I am including this year's pictures for those of you who know our family, or would like to know more about our family. It is fun to look at the pictures and see how the girls are growing.

My Reminder: I have been struggling a lot, lately, to understand why I can believe in my head such amazing truths—not just believe, but know, because I have experienced God's hand in ways in my life there is no other explanation for—and yet have my emotions so far behind my mind. Sometimes, when I think about what I believe in just the most simple of doctrinal statements, I can't figure out why my heart doesn't leap more, or why I can be so easily swept away by anxiety, negative expectations, fear, insecurity, etc. I find some comfort in accounts from the Bible of great men and women of God who wrestled with doubts, etc., even after intense encounters with God, but it doesn't comfort me completely. I don't seek emotion to rule me, or even to drive me, and I am grateful that I can still operate by faith in what I know without the feeling, but I would love to have more of the feeling to accompany my faith . . . more of the awe and wonder and proper perspective that keeps God and everything else in its proper size and perspective in my heart.

Abigail and Daddy, nose to nose as well.

At the Pinnacles I forced myself to just stop and look up at this one rock that was at least 1000' of straight, single rock face. The sun was dropping and the rock was red, massive, and majestic! It was so incredibly huge, and I forced myself to not just say, "That's beautiful" and move on, but to pause and reflect that, since my God made that as just one fractional part of His Creation, I truly do not need to be anxious for anything. This was something God reminded me of recently, that He commands me to be anxious for nothing, and this trip to the Pinnacles helped return that to its proper perspective. Faith has an object, and our object is God, who is the author and enforcer of His Word. Sometimes, for me, I need to pause and just ponder His wondrous, glorious, absolutely huge and stunning Creation and return Him to His proper place in my mind and heart—that place where He is God, He is huge, and there is nothing that can rival His size or power or love or majesty. It is a reminder I often need, and one that God has used His Creation many times to help me get.

Note: Many of you have seen the picture of our three cows on my blog's "Pictures" page. Well, on Monday afternoon the black one had a calf and I've posted a picture here of momma cleaning the little one about an hour after birth for you to enjoy with us.

Being Sure . . .

I know that there are times when we simply have to make choices and we just can't hear God's voice on which direction to go. In those times I trust in Psalm 37:23 which says: The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way. That was English Standard Version. The New King James Version translates it: The steps of a [good] man are ordered by the LORD, And He delights in his way.

A lady in our church once pointed that out to me when I was struggling to make a decision and not hearing God's voice. Since then I have stood on it—I make my best decision and trust that as I have sought Him, and sought to honor Him with my life, and earnestly desired His will in my life and not my own, He promises to establish my steps. Trusting that, I just make my best decision.

With that said, I have been reminded in these last few days of the importance of seeking God's heart for decisions and hearing His voice when we are able to. It is so critical when the enemy casts doubt to be able to go back to the decision that took us where we are and say, "No! I know I am where God wants me, and I know that He is not going to leave me alone in it."

Last week I did a graveside service for a man who was part of a wonderful, long-established family in our area. As the hour approached, knowing that there would be a crowd there which would include many, many of our area's long-time natives and families, I began to feel nervous and start to doubt my notes and let all sorts of insecurities creep in. Last night I experienced the same thing when I spoke at a revival service at a church in Paso Robles and as the time to speak approached I saw five other area pastors in the crowd. Suddenly I was nervous, questioning my notes, etc.

In both cases I returned to the same place. I was able to say, "No. I will not be afraid. I sought God's heart about whether I should do this. I have sought His heart in preparing it. He is not a God that abandons His children, but an Immanuel God who is with me, colaboring with me, beside me, and in me." There was such tremendous peace in knowing I had sought His heart and will from the moment I was asked to do them all the way through the process. It gave me a place of assurance to go back to and take my anxieties captive to. My God does not sit back, arms crossed, judging me—when I seek His heart and seek His will He colabors with me as my biggest fan and friend and helper. He is, truly, a great God, and both of those services were anointed by His Holy Spirit.

He Cares for Me . . .

Tomorrow at the church I pastor I am going to be leaving the ongoing study of Genesis I have been teaching to spend a morning in 1 Peter, specifically Chapter 5, verse 7, which encourages us to cast all our cares/anxieties on Him, because He cares for us. This was written to a persecuted, dispersed church who would have, I believe, desperately needed to be reminded of that. I don't know why God has so quickened my heart to this verse this week, but it is the one that my thoughts have repeatedly returned to.

We use the word "love" so loosely in this day and age---we love a movie, we love a food, etc.---that the word "cares" almost carries, for me, more power and tenderness. I have found myself having to stop and take time to meditate and focus on that line---God CARES for ME! I encourage you to stop on that today, and this week, as well. Don't just read it past, or nod and move on. Stop and let that sink deep into the core of your being. God CARES for YOU! Not just "you"---the body of Christ at large---but "you" meaning "you"---the person reading this right now.
HE cares for you!
He CARES for you!
He cares FOR you!
He cares for YOU!
Only the Holy Spirit can bring that truth to life in your heart, but I pray right now that He awakens that truth in your heart to such a level that it becomes the foundational bedrock of your faith and trust in Him. Then, you can cast/throw all your cares upon Him, knowing that He cares for you.

What a wonderful God we love and serve! May this verse become a hook in your heart that you can't shake or let go of, but that your heart and mind are drawn back to over and over in this coming week as you go deeper and deeper into the layers of all that means and means for you!