Heaven . . .

Mary Ann and I have decided to homeschool Bethany next year. This has been a long decision for us and we would value your sustained prayers for this. We are all looking at this with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. For Bethany (and for us) some of the hardest part has been the "goodbyes" that came today at the last day of school. While we hope to stay involved at some level with the school and go to some of its activities, we are all going to miss the people there a lot. Mary Ann and I alternated Wednesdays in the classroom and it was really hard to know we won't see those kids and the staff much at all. For Bethany, it was knowing she wouldn't see her friends nearly as much as she does now.

As I was driving away from the school this morning I thought about the pain of goodbyes and the hole they leave in our heart (I have long felt that "goodbye" was the worst word in the English language). As I was thinking about this, and driving toward the mountains in the distance on my way to meet with someone who has really seen their life fall apart and tasted much of the pain of life, I thought, "I look forward to heaven where God has promised us that there is no more pain, no more sorrow, no more death, no more tears." I wanted to share that with you, as a reminder, while it was fresh in my mind. I know that for those who have lost loved ones who didn't know Jesus, or who have loved ones who don't know Him, heaven holds another edge to the sword, but for right now, for just this moment, for you alone, stop and think about the place Jesus has gone ahead to prepare for you---your eternal home where He Himself will wipe every tear from your eye and where you will see Him face to face and experience His love without restriction or barrier, and just rest in that moment and let everything else around you fade away as you pause there. God bless you. Rest well. Erick

I'm More Afraid of . . .

As I was talking with Mary Ann about Sunday's teaching on Genesis 16 (in which Sarai gave her maidservant Hagar to Sarai's husband Abram to try and get the son God promised them Abram would have) I was struck with a thought: I am more afraid of my good intentions than my bad. What I mean by this is that I don't set out to deliberately disobey God or do "evil" things and I can pretty easily recognize those things and say "no" to them. I usually know and recognize when my intentions are bad, and it is really then a simple question of choosing to obey God or my flesh. Whichever decision I make it is clear and I usually am aware I am making it.

It is my "good intentions" that are really, for me, the most dangerous. I believe that Sarai and Abram had really good intentions. Think about the depth of Sarai's good intentions and desire to do for God that she would give another woman to her husband. But, those good intentions---decieving in how dangerous they are because they are "good"---caused tremendous hurt and pain for those involved and have caused ripples of unrest and war to this day.

So often we step out of that place of pure faith, of trusting God completely, and don't even realize it because we are "good intentioned". But, really, our good intentions can easily be a substitute for faith and standing on God as we seek to take some level of control back, or at least to feel like we are "doing something." This isn't to say that faith doesn't require action. Not at all. But it must be God-directed action. Peter's intent to save Jesus from Jesus' fate was met with, "Get behind Me Satan" because Peter was not mindful of the things of God but of the things of man.

The life of faith sometimes seems like a scary free-fall because we are living totally in a realm of trust, but it is really the only place we are securely in the center of God's palm. I need to make really, really sure that my "good intentions" are not really a running ahead of God, or a substitute for trust and faith. The last thing I want is to be in a place where I am not in God's will, and I am finding I get that way more often acting on my "good intentions" than my "bad" ones. Thoughts? Comments? Or did this even make any sense at all?

I Had To Laugh . . .

I had to laugh.

Last Monday I posted the entry "Carrying the Presence of God" from a coffee shop in Monterey. I ended it with, "God has chosen not a building, not an organization, but YOU (if you have given your life in faith to Him for Lordship and Salvation) as His chosen vessel to carry His presence in and through the world . . . to show and represent Him to those around you . . . in all of His love and compassion and power! It is an awesome thought, and an awesome privilege. Just thought I'd share that with you---I hope it speaks to you like it did to me." Probably not 10 minutes after I finished posting that---feeling good about it (and about the coffee) I closed up my laptop and headed out the back door to the parking lot. There, right in my path, was an older man pushing a shopping cart, alone, with an oxygen bottle in his shopping cart and oxygen tubing in his nose. Right in front of me. No missing it. No pretending I didn't see it.

I walked past.

I don't like to admit that, but I find the theology of representing a kind, loving, healing Jesus far easier than the reality. The farther I got from him the more unsettled I got, and the angrier at myself and my fears.

It is amazing how much you can think about in a relatively few short steps. I found myself rehashing my own words which I had sent to some people telling them about my blog in which I said that I hoped this blog would be, "... a place where we can meditate, grow together, and that draws us in to deeper thought, growth, and, ultimately, a deeper relationship with God and a stronger walk and brighter light. I am not interested in knowledge for knowledge's sake, but in growing as His child and disciple and friend and ambassador."

Well, I laughed at myself. You can type about wanting to walk it out . . . but what do you do when it is right in front of you? Oh, how much easier it is to type!

Well, I got half way across the parking lot and realized I would be a hypocrite to not turn back. So I went back and told the man that I felt God had wanted me to come back and let him know I would be praying for him and that I had passed him and felt, "That's not right! That's not God's heart." and I came back. He was caught off guard, but I did get a thumbs up from him and a thanks.

I left feeling like I should have just asked if I could pray for him right then and there, but glad I had at least done what I had done. It was a step in the right direction. The more I thought of the whole thing, the more I chuckled. As I was writing grand words God was setting up an encounter that would test those grand words to see if they were just that, words, or if they were really my heart. Thank you, Father, that you love me so much that you will continue to draw me out of the comfortable zone where I depend on myself, and in to that awesome walk of faith where I completely depend on You as I seek to draw closer to you and represent and carry Your presence in to the world!

Carrying the Presence of God

I am sitting at a coffee shop (surprise, surprise) in downtown Monterey, and I find myself reflecting on something I heard in a teaching by Bill Johnson during my drive up yesterday after church. He was commenting on David bringing the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem (2 Samuel 6). After the death of Uzzah which came after the ox pulling the cart David had the Ark on stumbled, David went back and brought the ark in the right way---carried by men. Bill said, in effect, "The Ark was never intended to be carried on a vehicle made by men, but carried on the shoulders of priests." It was one of those moments when I was just struck with an awe at something you can't quite explain, but know is big.

The Ark, in which the presence of God dwelt in the Old Testament, was meant to be carried on the shoulders of priests. Today, in the New Covenant, we know that God does not dwell in buildings or temples, but in the heart of His children. And, in 1 Peter 2:9 we are told that we, believers, are a "royal priesthood." Our greatest privilege is to minister to God, and we are God's intended vehicle to carry His holy presence about!

Stop, for a moment, and let that sink in.

God has chosen not a building, not an organization, but YOU (if you have given your life in faith to Him for Lordship and Salvation) as His chosen vessel to carry His presence in and through the world . . . to show and represent Him to those around you . . . in all of His love and compassion and power! It is an awesome thought, and an awesome privilege. Just thought I'd share that with you---I hope it speaks to you like it did to me.